People have had a hard time getting out of bed ever since, well, probably ever since beds became comfortable. And ever since the invention of the snooze button, sleep-loving procrastinators around the globe have been struggling to wake up on time. If you’re the type who hits snooze for three hours before you rise and shine, then check out this list of alarms that are sure to rouse even the worst snooze abusers.
Part of the reason the snooze button is so easy to abuse is that, oftentimes, you don’t have to do much more than roll over and flop your arm onto your clock to make it shut off. Designers of the Carpet Alarm have devised a clever way to circumvent this problem by creating an alarm that hides inside a rug. Intended to be placed at your bedside, the clock won’t shut off until it feels your full standing weight on top of it. Like quite a few others in this list, this one runs on a rechargeable battery, so you can’t cheat the system by unplugging it.
If you’re the type who can’t resist the allure of your mattress even after standing up, perhaps an alarm that forces you to leave your bedroom altogether is the best choice. Ramos, the product of a recently successful Kickstarter campaign, can only be shut off by inputting a diffuse code on a wireless keypad — ideally located somewhere other than your nightstand or bedroom wall. How much easier would it be to wake up on time if your snooze button was right next to the coffee maker in your kitchen? Buyers can opt for the classic digital display, or go for the nixie tube model that gives Ramos a distinct, steampunk-inspired look.
The acronym stands for Tangible User Interface Alarm Clock, and if the name and shape didn’t already give it away, this one draws inspiration from the grenade. After setting the alarm, the user pulls the pin and chucks the clock across the room. When it goes off, you’ve got to hop out of bed, find the clock, dive on top of it like a seasoned commando, and reinsert the pin to shut it off and save your platoon. The volume level adjusts based on how far away the clock is from its pin, so don’t worry about throwing it too far — just be careful not to put a hole in your wall.
If throwing your alarm across the room every night seems like too much work, you can make your alarm clock do the throwing for you with the Blowfly. It’s a different take on the same force-you-out-of-bed scheme, so rather than making you throw it every night, the Blowfly uses a small motor to send a propeller flying across your room to a completely random location. You’ll need to retrieve the propellor and return it to the dock before it’ll stop its harsh, piercing beeps.
If you don’t mind a bit of installation, Sfera is a neat little device that takes a more gradual approach to getting you out of bed. The clock hangs from your ceiling, and if you like to fall asleep to music, Sfera will serenade you as it slowly rises each night. In the morning when the alarm goes off, you have to reach up to hit snooze, but here’s the twist — after each time you hit the button, Sfera rises about a foot or so. After about three snoozes, you’ll practically have to stand up to shut it off, and hopefully at that point you’ll be ready to go out and seize the day.
There are few things that can motivate you as much as losing money, or worse yet, losing money to someone you hate. With this is mind, developers at ThinkGeek have devised way to facilitate such a phenomenon with an alarm clock. The result is a contraption that’ll have even the worst snooze abuser jumping out of bed in a hurry. After setting up the Wi-Fi-enabled alarm, you can configure the clock to donate money ($10 minimum) to the non-profit of your choice for each time you hit snooze. However, rather than donating to a charity you support, you’re encouraged to choose one you hate — after all, giving money to a charity you support with each snooze would probably encourage sleeping in, wouldn’t it? Users can set the clock to donate to over 6,200 different charities and organizations, which means you can optimize it for maximum hatred based on your personal preferences. Are you a die-hard Democrat? Donate to the GOP. Love the environment? Donate to the United Coal Foundation.
If a good old-fashioned robot chase sounds like a good way to start your morning, check out Clocky. To wake you up in the morning, Clocky will drive off your nightstand and scuttle around your floor while singing the song of his people — which apparently sounds like R2D2 having an anxiety attack. You’ll have to track the little bugger down and hit the deactivate button in order to silence him, which, given his speed and completely randomized path of motion, is easier said than done.
Not a snooze abuser, but still have trouble getting up in the morning? We’ve got a whole list of clocks that would suit the deep sleepers, slow risers, and everything in between.
