It’s 9:58 p.m. on Monday night, I had just gotten home and was browsing my television guide when I realized Start-Ups was coming on and I’m supposed to do a recap. That’s how irrelevantly bad this show is; it’s only the second episode and I’ve already forgotten it’s existence. But fear not, I braved the hour to bring you this week’s recap of our Silicon Valley caricatures finding love, acceptance, and new ventures.
Our second week kicks off where we left it: The incest siblings walk out of Dave McClure’s office feeling defeated after he downright called investing in their startup an “irrational risk.” Hermione and Ben head back to their apartment to scream their lungs off, quite literally, in honor of what the late Steve Jobs would do. Could you Silicon Valley people get any more meta?
Elsewhere, Kim is unhappy working in the sales for Ampush Media and is yearning for new opportunities. This, combined with a small quarrel with her boss who offends her by saying he’d prefer to have a “grey-haired CRO” representing the team, and thus begins the story arc of the young techie who takes her rolodex full of Valley contacts, marches out of her day job, and starts her own company with low to no capital. It hasn’t happened yet on the show, but a quick Google search of Kim Taylor reveals that she’s an Ampush Media alum, so we’re obviously being set up to watch Kim venture on.
Meanwhile, Sarah is still in her self-important bubble, calling her job as a lifecaster and blogger “real, raw, and live.” She sets high expectations for an upcoming date with David’s model friend and plans on narrating the whole thing via Twitter. Before the date, Hermione shows up to kiss ass, gifting her a black lace tiara as a peace offering. You’d think two women in tech would stand by each other to help represent their minority group, right? Cue the buzzer. Queen Bee is obviously not impressed, and Sarah rejects Hermione’s offer for an “immediate friendship.” The scene ends with a disillusioned Sarah asking her dog what she should do.
As date night draws closer, David chats up his model friend Jay about what he thinks of Sarah. Jay says they’re just hanging out and he isn’t really considering it a date. Ruh-oh. Things turn for the worst when Sarah shows up at Dave’s apartment dressed to the nines, only to be disappointed that Jay just wants to drink wine and watch fireworks from his roof. Unimpressed, Sarah begins a series of hate-tweets, calling the night awkward online and to Jay’s face before running to his bathroom to videotape herself whining about her undate. Jay gets her @ mentions, discovers her plot and is upset. “Are you mad?” Sarah rhetorically asks. To her credit (and it’s hard enough to give Sarah any), we’re not sure how you can be okay with cameras following you in your house but a dumb girl liveblogging your undate is not acceptable.
In obvious news, Hermione and Ben attempts another pitch but fails miserably again. Also not represented enough in this episode was Dwight and his drunk, algorithmic ways. Next week: Sarah finds out Jay has been going on dates with Hermione and throws a drink in his face and I have no idea what else because that’s really all Start-Ups is revolved around at this point.